I am at a total, complete loss. On a beautiful 70° sunny fall day, my amazing mom slipped peacefully away on Monday, October 28th, at 1:05 PM. And although it has only been seven hours since she left us, I miss her so hard already. My heart is so sad. What am I going to do without her? She was my everything. The most amazing, talented chef of the family. I can't believe I'll never eat her roast and gravy again. She was always perfectly put together with her makeup and jewelry on. She "felt naked" without it. Her home was spic and span. She was the life of the party and relished in time being spent with family and friends . She loved Diet Coke, toothpicks and salt. I know those are the silliest, funniest things, but she loved them still the same.
I've only spent one Christmas my entire life without her. What am I gonna do this year when she's not there? Who am I going to have Sunday dinner with? Who am I supposed to come and vent all of my problems too? Who supposed to be here now to feed my kids and my husband? She was the best at that! Who is Jeff going to hang out with? He was with her all the time. They were bosom buddies. Who am I supposed to decorate graves with on memorial day? Who's going to watch Millie?
I wasn't ready to lose her. I'm not ready to have her gone. What will I do without her....?
I'm feeling all the feels:
Devastation
Anger
Loss
Disbelief
The mourning in my chest is a physical pain
I am completely and utterly heartbroken.😭💔